National
“John Key PM” Wins 2011 Walters Prize For Modern Art
Is he a natural clown or the nation’s greatest conceptual artist?
In a move that has already provoked controversy, John Key has been awarded the 2011 Walters Prize for his work “Prime Minister of New Zealand”.
Political performance art is usually frowned on by the establishment and some have claimed the award was based solely on public popularity.
Walters jury member Helen Highwater has already publicly disassociated herself from the result.
“[The prize] recognises an artist who has made an outstanding contribution to contemporary art in New Zealand in the two years prior,” she said. “John Key isn’t an artist, he’s a politician.”
From The Hood at http://werewolf.co.nz/
International - Dec 9, 2010 12:37
White House Dismisses Reports Of Assante Rendition
The disappearance of Armand Assante was played down by the White House administration today despite reports the Hollywood actor may have been the target of a CIA extradition order in connection with the recent Wikileaks scandal.
With a range of conservative pundits calling for domestic courts to try Assante as a terrorist his sudden disappearance from a family vacation in Greece has heightened speculation that U.S authorities may have employed illegal methods in his capture.
Already media commentators are questioning the targeting of the popular Mambo Kings actor.
Robert Fisk of The Independent has asked if “the CIA are sure they’ve got the right man.” Continue…
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National - Feb 4, 2011 22:57
P.M’s Wife Announces Celeb Sex Wish-list
McCaw / Wiki Spit-roast Tops List
A number of prominent New Zealand sportsmen and international movie stars have made the fantasy conquests of Prime Minister John Key’s wife according to a list aired on a prominent radio programme.
While initially appearing on Kim Hill’s show on Saturday morning to discuss an interest in kickboxing Bronagh Key let slip with the detailed list after being asked for her top five fantasy roots.
According to Mrs Key current All Black captain Richie McCaw and Kiwis league hardman Reuben Wiki top the list. The particular allure of these two sportsmen “would make it hard for me choose” said Mrs Key, who later stated she’d “probably just try and pull both” given half the chance. Continue…
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Local - Dec 2, 2010 13:21
Unwashed Jar Forces Recycling Plant To Close
Workers today began dismantling Huntly’s WasteLess recycling plant just twenty hours after the discovery of an incorrectly cleaned jar of Pam’s peanut butter forced an emergency shutdown.
The local community is now coming to grips with the loss of 140 jobs. “The boys, they’re absolutely devastated,” said Engineering Printing & Manufacturing Union representative James Te Teira. “We never thought the day would come when someone would do something so thoughtless.”
ESR and detectives from Hamilton’s CIB have already begun following leads in an attempt to trace the criminal who didn’t wash the item.
The contaminated peanut butter jar was planted in an otherwise drycleaned and sterilised bin full of recyclables. It is thought to be the work of a serial unwasher, who may also have failed to clean a 2L bottle of Meadow Fresh homogenised pasteurised blue top milk in July 2008. Continue…
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Sport - Feb 1, 2011 22:14
Sonny Bill Williams Headlines Possible Ploy To
Gain Readers Interested in Sonny Bill Williams
Excessive coverage of Sonny Bill Williams by many media outlets has been attributed to ongoing interest in Sonny Bill Williams.
With the move by Sonny Bill Williams into boxing interest has spiked in the man dubbed “Sonny Bill Williams” by friends and family alike.
“Why are people giving Sonny Bill Williams so much attention?” said media expert Russell Davey. “I believe it’s something to do with everyone having an opinion on Sonny Bill Williams.”
“Mr Bill Williams is something of a cultural and media phenomenon. And some people have a hard time not talking about the guy – but that’s Sonny Bill Williams for you, isn’t it?” Continue…
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Entertainment - Jan 24, 2011 19:30
Eminem, Rihanna Win Pulitzer Prize For Rhyme
The Pulitzer Prize Committee today awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Rhyme to Eminem and Rihanna for their duet, ‘Love The Way You Lie.’
The single chronicles the decline of a relationship in rhyming couplets which Columbia University Emeritus Professor of English Dr Thomas Waring describes as “utterly original and compelling.”
Waring expanded on the decision at a press convention following the controversial Prize announcement, in which he described 2010 as a “poignant year in lyrical and poetic English.”
“Don’t play the blame game,” Waring told media, “We name names with no shame, and if you don’t take our hand, you won’t understand. ‘Love The Way You Lie’ is a literary tour de force, from its very chorus ‘Watch me cry / way you lie,’ and onto other highly innovative rhyming pairs such as fight / right, yesterday / day, as well as walk/talk and liar / fire. All of these within one song? Wow.” Continue…
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Lifestyle - Jan 27, 2011 21:28
Local Man Develops New Tech To Combat Dog Droppings
A scourge of New Zealand’s streets will soon be a thing of the past thanks to the tenacious efforts of Dr Jim Nayland.
The Waimate scientist today released findings from a 12-year study that provide startling new evidence of the average dog’s inability to leave waste in the vicinity of 2 litre bottles half-filled with water.
Combining the number-eight wire mentality of the country’s forefathers with an advanced research and development, Mr Nayland has seemingly perfected the art of repelling dogs from fouling properties with both faeces and urine.
After years of laboratory work the recently patented technology will be introduced to the domestic market in April 2011. Export arrangements have already uncovered a number of willing partners in Asia and North America. The euphoria from the successful trials has been tempered with the admission of some potential weaknesses however. Continue…
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News In Briefs
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Arcades Five Win Best Album Grammy
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Charlie Sheen, Nelson Mandela Hospitalised With Oddly Identical Symptoms
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U.S To Host 2011 World Press Freedom Day.
No, Really. -
Queenstown Gets Drunk, Steals Supermarket Trolley, Falls In Lake Again
Coitus Interruptus - Dec 13, 2010 10:41
Take One In The Mouth For Humanity?
Theoretically, if you knew it could have stopped World War Two, would you have given Hitler a blow job?
GJ: “Didn’t he only have one testicle? That would be a bit off-putting to be honest. Sorry to all those people who would’ve lived long happy lives but I just don’t think I could BJ a guy with only one ball…”
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What's Hot - Aug 19, 2010 18:05
What’s Hot.
Hot
Chest hair. Now that the hotter weather is coming up a good bit of growth will make it easier to go topless that much quicker. You too ladies.
Not
Celebrity sex. No, that cold, sickly feeling wasn’t from something you ate. It’s just the body’s natural defence mechanism after reading about how Brittany Murphy’s husband slept with her mum after the Clueless star died. Apparently the five stages of grief are now Denial, Guilt, Guilt, Having sex with the mother in law, Overdose. Continue…
